Monday, March 29, 2010


as a child,
i learnt cycling,
the beauty in idling,
enjoyed siestas,
made friends, played so many games
that now i cant recall their names;
many more have been the ways
to grow with fun,
unmindful of the scorching sun
in the magical span of holidays.

these were the times
for kids to grow, they say..
a well-deserved break
from the lessons in rooms.
to start new hobbies, hone skills,
for it's not just books that build.

im now an 'adult', or at least
that's what they ascribe me
as being.
and the sad part?
i never knew when i became one..
and on some contemplation,
i also doubt
if i would ever be,
for the child in me
is what keeps me alive.

as i introspect on that,
i start to ask myself..
have i given the time
to Me?
to discover the person i am,
the identity that i dont have an idea of.
when i've taken
9 months to be born,
and many years to be formed;
doesn't I need some time
to itself,
to become what i am..?

i need time
to think, to weigh,
to judge, to find,
learn, appreciate,
thank, pray..
a time to love, my self too!
time to look into the world,
find my spot in it,
make a World of my own,
and become the I
that is a world in itself.

if all this is too much to ask for,
then we all need to stop growing
right when we drop in,
on this planet, this society.
for what's the use
in not becoming the I's and We's,
a world unto the Self?
we'd rather be machines, rock or nothing
than humans who are gifted to think,
but only learn to undo this trait
and make a joke out of it
by calling it..

Friday, March 26, 2010


Ideals, ideologies, or the lack of them, CHANGE, compromise, realization, adaptation, pain,suffocation, space, possessiveness, commitment, want, hope, insecurity, lies – both inward and outward, togetherness, support, compassion, intimacy, truth-both micro and macro, dreams, and the great Indian mentality of marriage.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

long long ago

an idea struck me
made me smile
gave me pride.
gave me wings
n i looked into the mirror.
that's all i did,
for i was busy
cherishing what i owned
and was lost
in myself.

i played with it
in my head:
how id blog about it,
add romance to it
in a lyrical style,
touch hearts, wet eyes,
bring myself a name and fame
to satiate my self.

me as i am,
i made myself open
to many more ideas.
visuals, feelings,
words, sounds,
tastes, perspectives,
name it and you have it.
the wide web welcomed me
an insect
but who willingly got trapped
in and sunk into
it all by itself.

then followed saturation
information all around,
me the observer.
too many people,
too much hunger,
convolutions, power politics,
religion, blindfolds,
opiated vents, skyscrappers,
palm islands, diamond mafia,
name it and you have it.
i couldn't even remember
that i had an idea
nor can i recollect what it was, now.
for there have been
many more like that since,
as i remain an observer
all unto myself.

the change

yes, that post i made 2 months ago holds some value now.
lethargy, lack of motivation, (misplaced?) sense of content(ment), distractions, and the rest in myself - that's old abhi for you.
and the new one? i din't say she's any different! (playing safe.) what value she now holds is because she's typing this down, now.
what made her do it? a lot of abstinence from work, a lack of sense of purpose, and the like, which obviously follow months of nothingness.. and add to that, love. yeah.


love..this may be an oft-discussed issue on this blog. love..something just struck me.
probably, the closest word to state an example of what all this about, is the very word, 'state'.
state and State. love and Love. similar properties, big difference.