Dust

Adding inertia to eyelashes 

first thing in the noon - for the night's a bright one. 

An innate entity of the mattress 

spread across the cosmos. 

Refined dust, we all are. 

Washing, scrubbing, sanitising, 

the world steadfast at 'dusting it out'. 

While I am it, celebrate it, 

welcome it home. 

Also, an excuse!

Her Golden Spring

Predicted to be an average fare,

yet I had strong reasons

to catch this Telugu-Tamil urban romance

before most of this world does.

Ilayaraja..

and the seemingly plot-plotting lyrics.

'At times magic, and then tragic;

the flame of the sun, or the misty rain;

bliss or pain,

what are you?' demands the Tamil woman lover.

Reservations I had,

the director's last was a soulless show.

But there was something more about this,

I could see through.

So I run to it before the reviews

all by myself. 

I want to feel.

Very local 'theater' - 1 rupee samosas.

First thing in the morning, 1 balcony please!

1? Ladies? - Yes, ladies, okate.

Sit, crouch near the counter, till they open the glass doors.

Why can't everyone stop giving me that knowing look that I'm alone?

Some heavy trivial questions.

Will this movie be any different?

Oh, will you stop staring at me already?

Why am I not carrying money for snacks?

What if someone misbehaves like the last time?

Is that uncle my relative?

Does the college crowd look like they'd spoil the movie?

When will more women hang out alone?

Enter 45+ yr old woman.

A little disoriented, she does look. Clearly uncomfortable, but she will carry on.

How many tickets is she buying?

Wow, all by herself!

Perhaps I should ask her if she needs company.

Or maybe not. What if she's a loner?

Exit the 45+ yr old woman.


Black ticket seller? Naah, looks too schooled for that.


15 minutes to the movie.

What's her thought on the plot?

Did she too rush for Raja?

Will I get popcorn and small cool drink under 25 rupees?

Why did she look so...sad?

What's her story? Could this be her love story?


5 minutes.

Is this guy seated next to me a threat?

Has she entered?

Oh yes, let me see her reaction when the music peaks.

Why shouldn't she come for Nani?

Her lost lover?

Or Samantha?

Her boring husband?

Menon, someone else?

Or nothing!


Movie.

Immersed, self.

Aah, romance and Raja.

Oho, couple fight scenes without cut.

Not bad, Menon.

Ohkay, feminist-humanist cringe factors here and there.

Candy floss nonsense and make it all sweet, eh?

Is 'love' this patient?

Am I impatient? Should I learn from Nitya's grace?

Only beautiful girls get second chances aa?

Ooh, emphasis on memories.

Tears, for various reasons.

Alright that's it. Only Raja.


Over.

45+, where are you?

I expected myself

to find out - from the corner of my eye -

what moves you, if any.

I want too catch a glimpse of the post-cinema You

without being intrusive, of course

and wonder if you are me, 20 years from now.

Should I walk back to home or take a bus without ticket?

I want to look into your eyes now! Have they gained some cinematic closure, like mine?

Hey you whispering staring bunches, so what if I watched a romantic movie all alone?


Ouch! Hey me! So what if She watched it alone?

I'm sorry, 45+..oops, woman. Person.

does, is, itself

poetry
through it everything 
{is}
accepted
understood
loved

Summer really has a warm heart

For the gloom that gray reminds

and your thawing effect, summer,

I'm not done with you yet.

Nothing Domestic about Violence

I hate you for the vile memory of bruises, cuts and burns
 and myself, too
for letting the veil of 'love' blind me for so long.
you might still carry off your charm on the rest of the world.
you might have meant the world to me too,
but that's past.
With the freedom of the present,
i spit on your grave.

Grandpa on turning 80.

"I don't know what to say, I suddenly feel ten years older from yesterday. And you confuse me by calling me a birthday 'boy'. Ha!"

found and lost

Then and now, the games of time, my Love,
the myriad knots in my head thus brought about.
Funny how, I kept yearning for more
even when we believed we're twin souls..
Caught momentarily in the spin of earthly life.

Oh how our madness turned into a way of the life we shared..
how reckless were we, and what joy it brought to us!
Irony, Brother, the way your frolic chose its own path,
swiftly bereaving me of the magic life has been for two years

It's ok, my Child! As you say, we will probably meet again,
at a place where there are no neurons :)
I'm not complaining, Ma, it's not your fault.
But I can't help but point to the anguish i feel now..

When I realize that I'm in the midst of all that I wanted
until a few days ago -
- there are friends, jokes, compliments, cheers, late-night liberation!
But one thing that makes life 'Life', is missing.
That's you, my Passion..