Grandpa on turning 80.

"I don't know what to say, I suddenly feel ten years older from yesterday. And you confuse me by calling me a birthday 'boy'. Ha!"

found and lost

Then and now, the games of time, my Love,
the myriad knots in my head thus brought about.
Funny how, I kept yearning for more
even when we believed we're twin souls..
Caught momentarily in the spin of earthly life.

Oh how our madness turned into a way of the life we shared..
how reckless were we, and what joy it brought to us!
Irony, Brother, the way your frolic chose its own path,
swiftly bereaving me of the magic life has been for two years

It's ok, my Child! As you say, we will probably meet again,
at a place where there are no neurons :)
I'm not complaining, Ma, it's not your fault.
But I can't help but point to the anguish i feel now..

When I realize that I'm in the midst of all that I wanted
until a few days ago -
- there are friends, jokes, compliments, cheers, late-night liberation!
But one thing that makes life 'Life', is missing.
That's you, my Passion..

A New Me as Interesting as Rumi?

As one of my few friends has passingly hinted, I have far more hatred than love in store, I started to think about the purpose of my life. Not that I have gathered any direction, least of all an answer to it, but I conjured up another seemingly smart fast-fact about myself. There is far more stuff that I don't contribute to, than otherwise.

What? Did you expect some wisecrack there? The reason I used the first sentence was to simply state yet another fact about my potential. And well, in the meanwhile, I started off with some shameless, harmless lies. First, no friend dare hints such things to me. Second, I haven't started to think about my purpose in life. That grim statement was to do just that - add a grim tone to my new post that I'm struggling with. But yes, I have only a few friends. Sparingly.

If you're still with me, rather if you ever were, you could see that I don't update this blog, which in one real person's opinion, deserves to be filled more. One thing I love about life is the high I get on recognition. And praise, in a ridiculous way, is close to my passion. But there's also this wannabe ascetic in me that makes me pledge the other extreme. In a general, survival, mundane mode, I'm usually caught somewhere in between, unaware, but grumpy, nevertheless.

Laziness, I guess, generates dangerous end-products when combined with wit. Again, like most things about me, these two also have the ridiculous hopeless undertones. Not classy! Anyhow, as a result, I come up with awesome ways to escape from WORK, under the guise of 'spirituality'.

This post is just one of the very, very few attempts I've made in my life, to change the status quo.

If you, bloody god, are listening, or recording this for my karma later, please, sometime, tell me, was I a worthy earthling?

love in the time of..

we're tired of the ways of the world,
and listen to what our heart says..
we elope to that hill we dream of, together.

we build a home of straw,
walk around the greens,
pluck fruits, lit bonfires,
all just enough for us.

and then there'll be a day
when lightning would struck me
or a snake would bite you
and the world would teach its children..
look what the fools did to themselves!
madness kills, life is in the balance.

but how are they to know of the feeling
that we share, my love
when we are our own world,
secure in our thoughts, free from fear..
and what would the preachy world learn
of the beauty of life, that's not about existing,
but about living..?

at the office

The eyes shut.
Tired are they?
Of the sights seen,
The light’s sheen,
The explosion of colour,
The fatigue of the heat,
The gloom of rains, silence of the cold,
Of all that life has to offer,
Or asks in return;
In totality, the very morbidity of it all?

Aware are they,
Of this very eventual irony?
Is this why they rest in sleep,
Waking up to the world inside..?
That space where there is no money,
White and black are just colours,
And each shade is, therefore it is.
And you call me asleep,
As I shut myself
From the mundane drama
And treat myself to the reality within.

My eyes for sure know
That all of it is a joke.
Whether they read up omnibuses
Or witness scientific processes,
They know that the real world
Is the one they are often told
To shut themselves from,
On the opaque side of the mirror.
So I let them perch
And let the stage become a prop in itself
To live at peace
With the violence within.
I let myself sleep.

holiday

as a child,

i learnt cycling,

the beauty in idling,

enjoyed siestas,

made friends, played so many games

that now i cant recall their names;

many more have been the ways

to grow with fun,

unmindful of the scorching sun

in the magical span of holidays.

these were the times

for kids to grow, they say..

a well-deserved break

from the lessons in rooms.

to start new hobbies, hone skills,

for it's not just books that build.

im now an 'adult', or at least

that's what they ascribe me

as being.

and the sad part?

i never knew when i became one..

and on some contemplation,

i also doubt

if i would ever be,

for the child in me

is what keeps me alive.

as i introspect on that,

i start to ask myself..

have i given the time

to Me?

to discover the person i am,

the identity that i dont have an idea of.

when i've taken

9 months to be born,

and many years to be formed;

doesn't I need some time

to itself,

to become what i am..?

i need time

to think, to weigh,

to judge, to find,

learn, appreciate,

thank, pray..

a time to love, my self too!

time to look into the world,

find my spot in it,

make a World of my own,

and become the I

that is a world in itself.

if all this is too much to ask for,

then we all need to stop growing

right when we drop in,

on this planet, this society.

for what's the use

in not becoming the I's and We's,

a world unto the Self?

we'd rather be machines, rock or nothing

than humans who are gifted to think,

but only learn to undo this trait

and make a joke out of it

by calling it..

life.

love

Ideals, ideologies, or the lack of them, CHANGE, compromise, realization, adaptation, pain,suffocation, space, possessiveness, commitment, want, hope, insecurity, lies – both inward and outward, togetherness, support, compassion, intimacy, truth-both micro and macro, dreams, and the great Indian mentality of marriage.